My grandfather's name is Arturo. He was born on September 10, 1939. He was already had two sibblings named Teofilo and Chebum when he was got married to my grandmother named Lourdes. She was born on February 8, 1951. They had five sibblings named Gerardo, born on Septembe 27, 1968, Arturo, born on January 24, 1974, Ariel born on March 11, 1976, Rizalde born on December 30, 1978 and the last one is my mother Jennifer born on August 1, 1970.
At the early age of 16, my mother got pregnant and she gave birth on November 20, 1989 named her first son "Jimbo", my elders brother. He is a 2nd year college student of EVSU taking up BSED major in Biology. Year 1992, 16th day of July, my Kuya Japhet was born and years later my complicated story started.
My mother Jennifer and his husband suddenly decided to broke up, when they separated my mother was pregnant. January 1, 1995, one o'clock in the morning my mother gave birth but unluckily, after 3 months she decided to leave and left her 4 sibblings including the baby to her parents and her brothers.
My grandparents decided to baptize the baby, they stands as parents and named the baby "Apple".
As I reached 3 years old, I never knew my real mother personaly, my grandparents whom I called "mama" and "papa" always told me about her. But I've never got interested to listen because I am already contented of having them as my "mama" and "papa".
One day, we were in the terrace when suddenly an unfamiliar face came and she hug "mama" and "papa". She asked mama while looking at me, "Ma, who's that little girl?" But when mama answered her I've never seen any reactions from her faced. She just let papa lead her inside the house.
2 months later, my real mother decided to go back to Manila, then she finally left again without giving me that chance to hug her or even talk to her.
Year 2002, when papa died, my real mother came back with her new husband and their baby. When I saw real mama hugging my brothers and my ate, I got jealous. I've tried everything just to empressed real mama but it doesn't work. Until the day that she left again. As what she always did.
Year 2005, mama died and as usual my real mother came. I am so helpless at that time, and all I did was to cry. Real mama never comforted me. Real mama always made me feel worthless. And when the day that she's going to leave, i told her, "Ma, someday you'll realize how it really hurts to be rejected." But that words doesn't affect her. She just smiled and answered "you're not my daughter." Then she walked away, she left me in my uncle.
Until now, that words still stays in my mind... I thought that words came from her mouth will never be changed into a word "sorry". But one time, I got into a trouble, my uncle knew that I was committed in a relationship and he wants me to broke up with my boyfriend. I've never got affected with that issue, when unexpectedly I got a message from my real mother, she gave me some advice. I cried and replied her message. A message that can make her realized her mistakes. "Ma, I want a mother who can guide me and support me. I want to remind you that you had 4 sibblings and the last message from her was, "I never rejected you, sorry for what I did, I'm sorry if that's what I made you feel. Thank you for telling me everything and for making me realized the biggest mistake that I've done to you."
I don't know if that "sorry" is already enough, but all I know is that I love her and I need to forgive her. I want to feel her love and care or even a one second hug from her.
#########
Typing this story was difficult for me. I had to force back some tears....
I have to hide her identity because she is only 16.
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment